Have you ever been in a situation where you really wanted to say something, but the words just wouldn’t come out?

In our work lives, in our home lives, sometimes we really want to say something, but are unable to find the words to speak because it’s just too difficult to say them.

Recently, in the highly tense closing stages of exchanging contracts on a new home, a member of my family was told on the phone by an estate agent – in no uncertain terms – that ‘You’ll have to agree the contract as is stands, or the vendor will withdraw the property you want to buy and it will be put back on the market – and at a significantly higher price’.

When I was younger, I may have been intimidated by this bullying behaviour. But, I am proud to say, words didn’t fail this young person. She drew a breath and in measured tones responded with, ‘I am not prepared to discuss the details of the contract with you and furthermore, I will not be spoken to in that tone of voice.’

This took the wind out of the sails of the estate agent, without doubt. He was unprepared for a voice to stand up to his. He was silent for a few moments, then stuttered an apology and over the following days, the contract was completed to the buyers’ and seller’s satisfaction, without the intervention of that estate agent.

Arrogant voices are difficult to deal with in the moment, but keeping a clear, calm head, remembering to breathe and refusing to be intimidated, all go a long way to help diffuse potentially explosive situations. Before you respond, centre yourself. Remember to be clear in your words, say what you want to say and reply in a calm manner. It’s not always easy to avoid the effect of the heart beat rushing up, stress levels rising and hands becoming clammy when someone is speaking in a pompous or haughty way. However, replying in situations like the one above, can diffuse the situation.

It can help to rehearse speaking difficult words without being in the moment of tension and stress. I can help you with creating a scenario that you can relate to. We can examine possible ways of responding to aggressive or bullying behaviour in order to avoid an escalation of emotions to leave you in a more calm and proactive state of mind.

Playing out scenarios, or role playing, can allow speaking difficult words without the emotion. Speaking techniques delivered by a professional voice coach, can help you to respond to others and communicate effectively to get your point across.

For more information about speaking effectively and to book your free online consultation, please get in touch, I look forward to chatting with you.