We can be heavily influenced by the manner of someone’s way of speaking and automatically decide whether we want to comply with what they want us to do or not, making that decision very quickly, seemingly without conscious thought.

For example, a senior member of a larger organisation asked the design team to produce some material for them. They didn’t get around to it. The senior person asked again after a few days and still nothing was done. The design team simply didn’t feel inclined to help out this person because of the way they spoke to them. A shrill voice full of pain and sorrow came across in their manner of speaking and no one wanted to do the job.

What is it about our manner of speaking that can be pleasing or irritating to others? When we speak, it’s not just our accent that is heard by the listener, it’s the quality of our voice which can sound ‘thin’, ‘nasal’, ‘demanding’ or even ‘aggressive’. The way we speak can be far more important in getting people onside than the words we say.

What is this connection between what we say and how we say it? If we allow our thoughts to be negative when we are speaking, it is very likely this will be transmitted in our tone of voice. Even a simple phrase like, ‘Good morning’ can be off-putting and miserable however, we can make an effort if we wish, to change the sound of the emotion behind the greeting to carry a cheerful or happier message.

If you are a leader, you will know that your voice can influence people, but have you explored the potential of your voice to enable you to link your thoughts with your words? It takes time and a great deal of effort to change the way you speak. It is easy to continue speaking the way we always have done and not change how we use our voice, but to quote the saying, ‘If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.’

Negative emotions that we are feeling can make a really big negative impact on what we are saying and this in turn can negatively influence our listeners. A miserable, painful voice will not evoke positive reactions, which means that our senior person may have to wait forever for their design work to be done. The design team simply don’t like the way they are spoken to.

During our conversation, my client also told me how hard it is to change your voice without the help of a voice coach. “Anyone can search out knowledge about how to speak well – it’s out there on the internet’, said my client. “But even if we can find the information,” they continued, “we can’t access that knowledge, we can’t do anything about the way we speak on our own.”

If you or any of your team would like to improve your voice and the way you speak, or be a better presenter, please get in touch.